Discovering modern motherhood and luxury travel: A destination wedding, quiet luxuries and love reimagined
As I stood between both my boys trying to get them to eat lunch,
I glanced across at my cold coffee placed at my seat, and thought to myself…
I just want to finish my cold coffee. Well, actually I’d like to start drinking
my cold coffee before the ice melts and its temperature peters.
Additionally, as I stood in the crowd staring out at the newly wed couple celebrating amongst close family and friends, I also thought to myself…this is what weddings should be; a celebration of your love amongst your people. Not a show for the masses.
So let's break this down…..
My brother’s best friend was getting married in Egypt (destination weddings are in full swing at the moment) and though we were initially sceptical about going with toddlers, I was determined to keep moving forward with life and not upend it just because now I have children. Rest assured, the upending is always in full swing.
In contrast to my Seychelles’ travel mood board or virtual tours of Istanbul, and more recently a look into my brother in law’s destination wedding in Dubai, where I’ve reflected on the privilege and joy of travel, this time around travelling with two little boys to Egypt I’ve been reflecting on uncovering little luxuries amidst modern Motherhood.
As my life continues to unfold, particularly after my not-so-positive 2024 reflection, I’ve been considering what love truly should look and feel like; especially for my small family unit and for a brown woman like me who has a double cultural identity.
The wedding took place in Hurghada, Egypt, at the newly opened luxury resort, Serry Beach. Hurghada probably won’t be the first place you think of visiting (unless you’re a diver, it's rife for such a sport) but it is absolutely booming with resort goers which makes perfect sense, given there isn’t much to do other than enjoy the weather and indulge in some R&R. Although, I’d be in denial if I didn’t say I came back more exhausted than rested, and the flight with two toddlers was taxing to say the least.
Nonetheless, I was grateful to get some time away and equally grateful for being able to indulge in the African weather. Despite this vacation not being much of a recreation, it managed to create many moments of reflection. The deeper realisations aside, trying to juggle two little boys in the heat highlighted some moments which have become a bit of a luxury…
5 small luxuries that redefine self-care
Taking a picture
In a world where carrying a portable device enables you to carry out many functions in (quite literally) a click of the button, taking a picture has indeed become a luxury. I’ve shared various times where the name, Things That Make Me Stop Walking came from and as the name suggests, I would frequently stop tracks to soak in a moment and capture it where possible. With two toddler boys, this really has become a challenge; I'm racing against the clock if ever I halt to try to take a picture.
2. Eat what you want…in peace
I love chocolate. But not so much chocolate ice cream as all too often it really doesn't taste like chocolate at all. In this instance, I really didn’t want chocolate ice cream but my boys did, and knowing they weren't going to finish it, alas, I knew I'd be finishing it for them.
3. Dress up
Parenthood can take some adjustment, both for men and women. I can’t speak on behalf of anyone else, but for me the adjustment has been learning to juggle pretty much everything. I love dressing up and this is one thing I’ve held onto tightly. Yes, I’m a lot more exhausted. Yes, I question if I really need to style my hair given I used to style it all the time. But, without doubt I carve time to do it all. Even if it’s amidst chaos. Aside from making me feel good about myself, it's important for me that my boys see their mother at her best.
4. Walking slowly
My second born, Laith, who is nearly two years old, is an absolute rocket. At nearly four years old and as the older big brother, Cyrus, is a bit more calmer, sober and independent; qualities inextricably associated with the first born I reckon. So whilst Cyrus will willingly hold my hand when we stroll, my Laith shoots off in the exact opposite direction you were going in. We were constantly chasing after our boys in the scorching heat and the ability to simply stroll instead of rush, become wildly indulgent.
5. Not carrying a bag for anyone…but yourself
I still carry my lipstick but…I admittedly stuff it in the nappy bag sometimes to avoid carrying my own bag. A few times I’ve even refrained from carrying an evening bag altogether knowing full well I’ll barely have the opportunity to hold it. So the one time I carved time out for myself on this holiday, I took my beach bag with no nappies, no baby wipes, no spare clothes—just lipstick, cardholder, a notebook, pen and a reading book.
What love means when you choose your own rules
Being the first born of a second-generation British Pakistani family, I was born and raised in an extended family unit. My mother, a graceful homemaker, raised me instilling many traditional values most of which I still hold dear today. However, one of these ‘way of life’ stances I’ve collided head on with more recently, is the notion that one must endure and self-sacrifice to maintain relations.
Whilst there is truth in needing to endure and sacrifice for your personal goals, and even for the greater good, can't say I'm much of a believer anymore of maintaining relations with people who are inclined to be toxic or oppressive, even if you're related by blood.
This prerogative is exactly what this Egyptian wedding reminded me of. My brother shared how the beautiful bride wanted to prioritise her close friends and loved ones, over, you know… your aunt's twice removed neighbour. A gesture which before at this point in my life, I would never have contested to. In fact, I would have supported it, coming at the defense of classic brown people’s wedding lists because… how else can you have such a joyful wedding filled with love and laughter without the people who touched your (family’s) life in some way.
How else can you have such a joyful wedding? Well…exactly like this one. Big or small, real, authentic, intimacy knows no rhyme or reason. And contrary to classic brown wedding rules and the stance of a brown bride needing to be serious and contained on her wedding day, a happy, smiling bride who is actually enjoying her wedding (and the groom too, of course), is really the only sure sign you need that love is being prioritised over oppressive cultural (and social) expectations.
Here's a glimpse at this destination wedding in Egypt (....and oh that wedding dress, was so Lanvin-esque…)
Fe sahetek x
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