Raising cultured children: How to teach beauty, taste, and emotional intelligence
I had a rocky road into the world of aesthetics. Up until my early 20s, I fumbled and stumbled, trying to experience beauty but was really just attempting to grasp and own it; as if ownership would magically transform my state.
My very first (in)formal training and exposure to aesthetics came from my very first job after graduating in English Literature & Language. It was a boutique fashion studio in Notting Hill, founded by a larger than life woman from an advertising background.
She was stylish, elegant, worldly, smart, independent, ambitious and feminine. She was also demanding, a perfectionist, disciplined and a formidable force. I admired her as much as I was scared of her.
I would work from my laptop in her showroom surrounded by rare, vintage jewels, silk gowns, bespoke shoes and more often than not, with her dog fittingly named Erte, after the world famous Parisian fashion Illustrator.
I remember having a silent realisation that this was indeed my introduction, and a crash course, in design and aesthetics. It wasn't systematic, it was contextual. It wasn't learned or memorised, it was shown and experienced.
Whilst I like to think I always inherently had the potential for elevated taste, I knew it needed sharpening and materialising.
From then onwards I embarked on what has become my life long love affair with beauty. Till this day, exposure to this beauty has become a much needed antidote in a world that's designed to burn you out and deplete your spirit. And it’s this love that now shapes how I approach teaching children to appreciate beauty, particularly my own young boys.
After becoming a boy mum, I've been thinking a lot lately about the kinds of men I want to raise and release into the world. I miss traditional masculinity (the non-toxic kind) but also am excited by what progressive masculinity can be.
Whilst we don't have much control over how our children's lives unfold, we can guide and share to the best of our abilities. But the ultimate end goal is helping them be the best version of the kind of person they want to be.
To this point, raising emotionally intelligent children through beauty and art plays a big role in the kinds of men I'd like them to be. Teaching children about art, nature, and mindfulness is one of the most powerful ways to help them develop emotional literacy and aesthetic sensitivity.
Why it’s important to teach children to appreciate beauty
My life is pretty tough going. Especially with two little boys and not the greatest marriage. Meaning, I make a conscious effort to let beauty in when I see it and celebrate it, amidst the chaos and hardship. I am fortunate that after this life long affair with beauty, it has become completely second nature to cross paths with it, every single day. This is precisely why it’s such an important soft skill to have yourself, let alone pass on to your little ones, because with practice, you can cultivate a life well lived and be the eye in your very one storm.
Where children are concerned, beauty can:
Nurture emotional intelligence.
Noticing feelings beauty evokes, empathising through art or music.Cultivate mindfulness.
A way of slowing down, paying attention to subtle details.Shape our inner values, not just outer preferences.
Such as choosing calm over chaos, simplicity over excess.Build aesthetic literacy.
Which later informs style, decision-making and even confidence.
What beauty can teach children
Quite a few moons ago, I wrote the role of beauty in finding closure. It was at the back of a rather traumatic experience I went through, but to which I owe much. I deeply believe in art, beauty and aesthetic's role in bringing grace into our everyday lives, and in the importance of art in child development, not just as a cultural enrichment but as an emotional foundation. As David Brooks beautifully writes in Beauty Strikes:
“A person who has appreciated physical grace may have a finer sense of how to move with graciousness through the tribulations of life. A person who has appreciated the Pietà has a greater capacity for empathy, a more refined sense of the different forms of sadness and a wider awareness of the repertoire of emotions.”
In similar fashion, I have myself experienced how beauty can become a life long teacher which can show your children to:
Not settle in any aspect of life
Value themselves and have assured self esteem
Know what great looks like and how to achieve and create it
Have depth and substance
Be decisive and discerning
Have clarity and conviction
Follow what moves them, unapologetically
…In a world driven by speed and screens, teaching children to appreciate beauty helps them slow down, connect, and feel.
How to Practically Teach Beauty (Daily Rituals + Habits)
Art & Design
Whilst visiting galleries and museums, let them interpret art themselves. Keep beautiful picture books or tactile objects at home, anything that helps create a space or moment of appreciation in their safe place.
2. Nature & Stillness
Walks where you stop to notice trees, light, clouds, colour, shapes. Teach them to describe what they see or feel.
3. Ritual & Environment
Let them help set the table with care. Light a candle at dinner, choose flowers together, curate playlists. My Cyrus even proclaims ‘what beautiful flowers’ when he sees a bouquet.
4. Language & Expression
Encourage to articulate what they find beautiful, and equally what they don't to start discerning and differentiating. Use rich adjectives; introduce the concept of "taste" by enabling them to choose one thing over the other, based on their personal preference, and explain why.
5. Style & Self Presentation
Involve them in choosing clothes that feel good and look considered. I already am a stickler for the ways my boys dress (and feel this deserves its own blog entry). Especially where boys are concerned, the range is so much smaller in comparison to girls, let alone the added difficulty in finding classic clothing with quirky accents; not brash graphics and garish colours.
Cultivating your own lens: How to develop good taste and aesthetic awareness
Teaching kids about aesthetics is not about rigid rules, it is about nurturing an attuned way of seeing. Whilst beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, there is objectively such a thing as high taste, and good taste and bad taste. Good or bad, high or low, ultimately it is about how we discern and cultivate in order to create synergetic balances. As the late Diana Vreeland proclaimed, Editor of American Vogue in the 1960s:
“A little bad taste is like a nice splash of paprika. We all need a splash of bad taste; it’s hearty, it’s healthy, it’s physical. I think we could use more of it. No taste is what I’m against.”
Expose them to diversity
Let them encounter many forms of beauty, from classical art to avant-garde design; from ancient ruins to contemporary architecture; from street style to couture. Range deepens discernment.
2. Encourage curiosity over conformity
Teach them that having a point of view is more valuable than simply following trends. Invite them to notice why they like or dislike something and to trust their instincts.
3. Model the joy of noticing
Let them see you appreciate small aesthetic moments a perfectly designed teacup, a clever book cover, the cadence of a well-written sentence. Children absorb what you delight in.
4. Teach them about craftsmanship and quality
Introduce them to the idea of quality: how materials, skill, and intention elevate an object. This builds respect for artistry and an understanding of value, deepening their relationship with the good fortune they already have.
5. Celebrate both restraint and play
Good taste isn’t about rigidity. It’s about knowing when simplicity serves and when a splash of joyful boldness is needed (Vreeland’s paprika). Encourage them to experiment.
6. Foster patience
Good taste matures over time. Let them evolve, make playful mistakes, outgrow certain phases. Taste is not static; it’s a lifelong conversation with oneself and the world.
And most importantly of all…have fun and get a little silly with your little ones!
Art & life
